I wrote this poem some years ago when I first challenged some “church leaders” about Tithing being wrong for todays church. Their response, coupled with my broken-heart of my husband’s abandonment, caused me to outpour my anger and grief into the words that follow. Needless to say I forgave those that hurt me, as Jesus teaches us to do, but still it helped to pour out my feelings onto the page at the time.
Crushed and broken, rejected and bruised,
My heart is wounded and abused.
I lie alone and cry out in pain,
I weep and sob again and again.
On and on the days drag by.
I frequently just want to die.
To find the peace that eludes me here,
To be with my Jesus and have no fear.
I’m at the bottom of the deepest pit.
I have no strength to even sit,
So I lie in my bed and sob and weep,
This heartbreak well is black and deep.
My appetite has fled and gone.
I fade away and the days drag on.
Unable to do even the simplest task,
Yet the world looks no deeper than my mask!
My clothes and make-up mask my pain.
“You look well,” they say in vain,
As inwardly my thoughts obsess
About my life in such a mess.
The rejections they are deep and many
My heart needs love but can’t find any.
I reason that Christ may have felt this way,
When all turned from Him on His blackest day.
I’m aware that the Lord sees all and knows,
The cruel words and hurtful blows
That stab into my wounded heart
And feel as if they’ll never depart.
Yet several months into my grief
I pondered how to gain relief
For my tender, fragile heart and mind.
I reasoned a new friend I should find.
I needed someone to replace
My broken-hearted, sad disgrace.
As Christ commanded God’s love we share,
I looked to the church to be aware.
I thought they’d know the “love of God”,
And share with me more than a nod,
Of simply saying, “You look well,”
Then leaving me to face my hell!
The hell of anguished sleepless nights,
Of no support in all my fights,
To stay alive and keep on going,
When no one any love was showing.
A loveless, lonely bleak existence,
The church offering no resistance
To the wickedness that was all around.
So where was love to be found?
Yes, they sang some songs and “gave a Word”,
Said, “How do you do?” but was I heard,
When I replied, “Not too good”,
Whilst wondering if anyone could,
Offer to me some of their time?
A meal or coffee would be fine,
To simply help me in this hour of need,
With some practical help or good deed.
The bible speaks of compassion and love
Which comes down from our Father above.
And Jesus taught us of His way
Of loving one another each day.
In fact it is the distinguishing feature
Of all believers, including the preacher,
For His disciples to be known all around
By their love that can be found.
Taught by Christ in His tale
Of the “Good Samaritan” who didn’t fail
To tend the wounds of the beaten man,
Caring and giving all that he can.
Jesus taught us to clothe and feed,
To visit those that are in need.
He said, “Inasmuch as you did it to he,
The brethren, you did it to Me.”
The word of God shows particular care
For widows and fatherless in their
Times of trouble and distress,
To visit them James does stress.
Yet week after week to the church I went,
Seeking for Christ’s love that He sent,
Sent to His people so they could share
God’s heart of love, compassion and care.
I first looked here and then looked there,
But loveless churches were everywhere!
Left all alone praying night and day,
Wondering what my Lord would say.
“Why do you call me Lord?” He asked
“And not do the things I’ve tasked,
For you to do with your life,
To offer love and not more strife.”
Not the piercing, rejecting teaching,
That type of Phariseeical preaching,
That says, “God bless you, may you be well,”
Whilst the lonely people remain in their hell!
Wake up Church and wake up people,
For God can take away your steeple,
Your comfy chairs and cosy meeting
Then it will be no use bleating!
Crying for mercy at the judgement hour
When Christ above you He does tower,
Searching your deeds and the depths of your heart,
What mercy showed you? What was your part?
To the stranger did you offer some food and drink?
Did you visit the prisoner and hurting, you think?
Did you bind up the wounds of the broken heart?
Will Christ say, “Well done,” or simply, “Depart”?
The Lord raises those who are bowed down,
But your life is a chance to lift their frown,
To wipe their tears with your shoulder to cry on,
So the lonely can find someone to rely on.
To give hope to the weary and share their tears,
To listen to their stories and their fears,
To love and to pray and give of your life,
To lift heavy burdens and ease their strife.
I urge you to examine your religion today,
“Is it pure and undefiled before God,” can you say?
Or ought you to consider yourself to humble,
Before God who sees all of our jumble?
We all want to hear Him say, “Well done!”
We all desire to please God’s Son,
So let’s carefully consider how we treat others,
And truly love them like mothers and brothers.
Matthew 12:46-50 on Mothers and Brothers
“While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.”
But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said;
“Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.””
Oh that we could all be about the Father’s business, hearing His voice and doing His will. I long for the time in the future, as described in this passage of Revelation.
” And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” Revelation 21:3-5
May God truly bless you and draw you closer to Him every day
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