I have decided to share publicly a letter that I actually wrote in 2005 to some of the Christians at that time that I knew and cared about. It was, and still is, a very serious subject regarding strange things that were occurring within a “Christian church” that I had attended. It took me nine months to discern and extricate myself from the said church, albeit the last weeks were simply to experience the leaders of the movement personally before exiting for good.
I have been greatly saddened of late, to discover that people who I had thought would be discerning Christians are in fact now, over a decade later, working alongside the very same leaders that I was warning about then, collaborating on projects in the basement, on the fringes of this other church, and the people are no doubt, unaware of the true nature of the spirit that works in their midst. The church I write about in this letter is still stating on their website that “impartation” is one of their things! If alarm bells don’t go off in your thinking at this word then you have some serious Bible reading, praying and research still to do.
My hope and my plea is for all Christian people to wake up from their trusting, somnambulant state and to pray and beseech the Lord God for true spiritual discernment and wisdom. We live in days of increasing wickedness on all sides and tolerating it continually amongst the churches will only lead to a deadening of your own ability to hear the Lord’s true voice.
My Personal Letter from 2005 that I sent to various Christian friends
What I want to share with you is a little detail of what happened to me in X Baptist Church and my findings about the many ways Christians are being deceived these days. Yes, I have been through some very difficult times in my spiritual life since moving here but I am grateful to God for what he has shown me and how he is leading me now.
On arriving in my new home town last year, I went straight away to X Baptist church, that had been recommended by someone I met. At first, I loved it, as it was lively, charismatic, great music, lots of people etc. However, last Nov I went for the first time to one of their evening meetings and saw some very odd things happen when they “prayed” for one another in a “fire tunnel”. This was something I’d never heard of or experience before and it was a very shocking experience for me, with exceedingly bizarre behaviours being exhibited.
Some people were running manically on the spot, others bending double and wobbling around as though drunk and collapsing over one another whilst giggling. One woman was writhing on the floor as though demonised, but the minister didn’t even stop playing his guitar to come to help her. When I went home that night I was very disturbed, as in 17 years as a Christian I had never seen anything quite so weird. I prayed to the Lord, “Lord, what is the spirit behind this church?” That night I was disturbed by a terrible dream that caused me to thrash about and cry out. In the dream I was enjoying worshiping God in the church building when suddenly an evil presence was pressing me down in a manner that was suffocating and terrifying. Let me add, at this point, that I do not currently suffer from nightmares, so this dream appeared to me to be a possible answer to my prayer. In other words, the spirit behind this particular church was possibly an evil spirit that intends to snuff out true believers!
I was thoroughly shaken to my core! I rang the church the next day and went to speak with one of the leaders. I even had the minister and his wife round and told them my dream. At that time, I accepted an alternative interpretation for it and pushed my concerns aside and continued going to the church. Yet in the months that followed I discovered that the church was linked with the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship of “Toronto Blessing” infamy. I learnt that the strange laughter-phenomena was started by Rodney Howard-Brown and I was appalled by his antics when I saw him on God TV. By Easter this year I saw the leaders of the Toronto fellowship, John and Carole Arnott, on God TV and again was very shocked at some of the things they said and the manipulative stories that were used and other nonsensical testimonies.
I was still seeking the Lord’s will in all this confusion, as I needed to know whether to stay and pray for a change in the church or simply to leave it. I was very much alone in this pursuit as I knew of no one else questioning this church.
By April this year I was again shook to my core about what the church was doing. I felt in my spirit that they had truly gone astray. Added to this was the minister’s reluctance to have any church prayer meeting. In fact, he’d told me that he didn’t want intercessors, which I found very odd. It turned out that they preferred to do what they call “soaking,” where they lie on the floor and relax or they “get the laughter” or other strange manifestation. This isn’t a substitute for prayer and in fact seemed very weird and “New age spirituality” to me. I attempted to start up a prayer meeting in the church prior to a “conference” they were holding, but only a couple of my friends came to it, even though it was announced in the church and I personally asked some of the church leaders if they would come. In fact, the weeks when we actually met in the church to pray I felt under considerable spiritual oppression and stress – this was actually tangible to me.
However, I kept on going to the church until the end of April this year by which time I had attended several sessions of their “conference,” (this was in order to see and hear for myself the leaders of this movement – although I went only with much deep prayer for the Lord to deliver me from evil and protect me) with main speakers John and Carole Arnott and R T Kendal. I have never seen so much weirdness in all my life as I saw amongst some of the people and leaders in X Baptist church this April! People were behaving like lunatics and the place was filled with the many travelling “groupies” of this phenomenon! People’s heads were twitching violently, unnaturally and repeatedly. One of the leaders began to make an announcement and was unable to continue as he laughed and wobbled around as though drunk. In fact, it turned out that they call it being “drunk in the spirit” and they spoke of “getting it!” Another woman was lying on the floor, writhing about and making orgasmic noises continually for ages and no one mentioned it at all! Church leaders were sometimes unable to read out the notices due to giggling and “something” interfering with their thought processes.
My conclusion was, and still is, that they are seriously deluded and deceived by the enemy of their soul!
There was one piece of good advice one of the leader’s wives gave me though. When I told her how confused I was and that I’d had a warning dream but accepted someone else’s interpretation, she suggested I ask the Lord for another dream to help confirm what I was concerned about. That night, with great nervousness, I asked the Lord again the same question that I’d asked 5 months previously; “What is the spirit behind this church?” Once again, I awoke from a terrifying dream of a murderous evil spirit squashing me. As I had not had any such dreams in the intervening 5 months since I last asked the Lord this question I now felt more confident in what I was discerning. Also, during these months of desperately seeking the Lord, He led me to various scriptures with a deeper understanding than ever before regarding the warnings about the apostasy that would come in the churches.
I told the minister, that I was leaving because there was no support for a prayer meeting and I didn’t like the “manifestations” of strange behaviour that I’d witnessed. Even at this point I would have liked some answers to questions that I put to the minister but received none. Instead he warned me that in questioning what was happening to people I had come very close to the “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit!” An observer to this final conversation with the minister said that he was very arrogant and patronising to me. He showed no love, care or concern for me. Instead he was, even by his own admission, arrogant! The bible has many severe warnings about arrogant, proud men.
In essence I felt, at this time, that my view of the Christian world was radically shaken by these changes to my theology. I had previously not even used words like theology and doctrine and now they have become crucial. Phrases like “defending the faith” and being a “watchmen” now have great meaning. For quite a few months after leaving X Baptist church I suffered from mild depression, which would cause me to cry easily and feel overwhelmed by the world church situation. I have since found that this is normal in these circumstances. I repented of all of my involvement with believing, practicing and teaching others anything that was not of God. I cried over individuals and families that I knew who were still entrapped in these deceptions. I asked God to heal my pain and teach me how to relate to him correctly. I continuously asked my father God to sieve all my beliefs to remove/highlight those that were wrong. My testimony now is that 6 months after leaving the “Toronto” church I feel free from the depression and am once again enjoying reading my bible and spending time in prayer with God, without fear. I can talk to people about these difficult issues without filling up with tears, and yet it will always be a sadness to know that many millions around the world will continue in the devil’s end-time plan to deceive many.
I do hope that you will follow-up my warnings and read around these issues. Please pray, like I did, that God himself will reveal to you personally the truth about these things. I am fully confident that he answers those who sincerely want the truth.
I am so grateful to my Lord Jesus Christ that he loved me enough to lead me into all truth and that, however painful it has been, he has led me to be a much more discerning follower. One of the prayers I was frequently praying during my days of decision about this particular church was for discernment and wisdom. These gifts and characteristics are generally sadly lacking in the body of Christ. We Christians are often a naïve bunch that believes that anything of a “spiritual nature” happening in a church must be God and that anything you can buy in a Christian bookshop must be OK. I now believe neither of these things!
I will just add that in about July this year I also left an international women’s Christian group, that I had been involved in. The realisation that many of their leaders also held pro “Toronto” and pro “faith/prosperity” views came as an extra shock. That they appeared to ignore my warnings and feelings and were as such unsupportive in my search for the truth was an exceedingly heavy load on my already fragile state of mind. However, I believe that God made it easy for me to leave, and in fact, I felt relief once I’d made the decision to separate from them.
I would like to add that I am still a believer in the power of the Holy Spirit to teach and guide me and still believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit being used but in a much more biblical and careful way. Looking back, I am so very grateful to God’s wonderful mercy towards me. He not only saved me all those years ago, but He also saw fit to protect me from the evil spirits that were manifesting all around me in this church and they were unable to influence me. In fact, although in my naiveté, I did walk through their “fire tunnel” and someone there said to me, “Do you find it difficult to receive?” At that time, I didn’t actually have a clue what he was talking about! In my Christian view you didn’t “receive” but you prayed and obeyed the Lord and His word. Looking back, I do in fact wonder if the Lord brought me to this town in order for me to discover this horrific, demonic deception that is masquerading as the Holy Spirit within a supposed Christian church setting. And I am now very grateful that He has started opening my eyes to the true reality of the worldwide deceptions within Christendom, of which I had not been fully aware of before.
May God bless you greatly with wisdom and discernment.
With great love in Christ Jesus our Lord and Saviour
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